I'm not.
I really want, at this moment, to walk on the beach/go swimming/go driving/read/write/act/play the cello/travel to europe/asia/anywhere/be sitting on the balcony of a house on a cliff over the ocean, surrounded by pine trees and a bonfire and listening to the waves under the light of the full moon.
You know, life is outrageously odd. I feel really trapped inside my body sometimes, and so limited by my own perspective, that I can literally only see from my physical eyes. Metaphorically it doesn't bother me in the slightest, but literally, it does.
I feel like I need to accomplish more. I WANT to accomplish more, and not for the social pressures or gratification of anyone but myself.
I love life, really I do, so very much. I am doing my best to keep that up, too, like always.
I wonder sometimes, okay, well, now if I'm necessarily (and this is going to get weird and confusing because I'm skipping thoughts in my own head)... wait, I don't know how to phrase this. Everything sounds so melodramatic, but it's not. I actually have a very light and cheery tone in my mind just now. Anyway, I wonder if certain things about me will alter when they find themselves in the right situation or if forever I'll be presented with a less than ideal emotional option for reality, both of which are quite out of my control, though I daresay there is a solid chance it will all hit me if I decide to let it someday. Haha, hmm, and I'm not talking about personality traits or anything like that, actually, it's kind of hard to explain what I mean, and as I am very particular about being specific online due to the millions of people across the world who will no doubt read this, I won't bother trying to explain it because I'm only writing this because I don't feel like sleeping just yet, or studying, or finishing my final. It's all a long ways in the future anyway, I think, so I'm not sure it really matters at all just now, probably, but as with everything in life you just never know, right?
There's people in the pool and no one will swim with me anyways, because no one ever does. That is why I'm not swimming.
I hope summer goes well. It should.
Damn, I just thought of something that I didn't get to finish today that I would have quite liked to, but I suppose I will have to just do it again another time. Shame, though.
Je besoin de practiquer mon francais. That is probably wrong, which just goes to show, doesn't it?
Anyway, I hope you are riveted. I'm so interested in what I'm doing here that I'm going to stop and go to sleep. Maybe.
