(de)Compress Me

The heart machine is beeping again.

I had to put myself in a box. In life, just like computer systems, it is easier to deal with changes (or files) when they are smaller… compressed. I had not really realized it, or at least the extent of it, but when I went to college I compressed a lot of myself. Didn’t lose it, or change it, just put it away in a snug little box and hid it away until I could bring it out and put it away in the context of my new life.

I must be acclimated, then, because that box is opening. I’m very excited… I feel inspired again. I love life like I do. I won’t say used to, because that makes it sound like I stopped. I didn’t stop, I just locked it away. This quarter should be interesting. I’m feeling like myself again, and I must be ready because any time before this that it started to peer forth from its dark (but comfortably appointed) cave I felt a loss… but it’s not a loss, just a transition. And I’m happy to say that I didn’t lose anything on the way… I’m still pretty much the same person I was when I was eight. Only more. I’m proud of that.

I’ve been under spiritual Novocaine since September, maybe a little before in preparation. Maybe the operation is over because I think I’m waking up in recovery right now. Can I get some jello?